Happy 29th Feb

Its been a month since a post and I had to get in one before February ended. Its one of those obsessive things that you cant really make sense of. Like, 40 degrees in February, or working Saturdays, or Youth Parliaments or Accidental Deaths of Anarchists. There is too much happening way too soon for The Old Lady( read as me) to process with clarity. Reminds me of Benjamin Button. And times-when-things-were-slower. And easier.


No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understandI tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train
See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train(think I got 'em now)

Love Letter 101

The most functional and fulfilling relationship I have ever been in is with my blog.

I love how rude I can be with my blog. How completely unfaithful I can be with it and it doesn't give a tiny rat's arse when I choose to ignore it and move forward with other aspects of my life. The part of life called Life that is. I have no concrete commitment to it. I don't have to make conversation with it when I feel like shit. I can say whatever I want to it without bothering about its repercussions. It's self content and satisfied and secure. Yet it needs me and I need it sometimes. That's when I decide to write. Whether its the mundane details of my dreary existence, the little things that make it almost exciting sometimes, the people who make it worth spending a fortune travelling back and forth(even if it is for four days) and the strangeties of living out of a box, in front of a box, while being boxed on all sides by a non-forgiving semester and boxing out time to unwind, boxed out amidst rearing egos and Scottish accents. You make it all possible, love. Here's to months more of liking it that way.
Good morning, 26 Jan 2009.

Ho-Hum

Listen.

Listen to me now.

Listen because its too early. Its too late.

Shono.

They are in my head. These things.

Listen before these other things overpower me.

They just did.

Happy New Year. For all the things we had and didn't this year. For Orange Skies and Colorblinds and Jee Kardas and apple-bottom jeans. For the Fall-Out Boy and the 20 grand girl. For the dirty whore. For the greensunglass mamuni.For Ballygunge and its lost gallis. For time that will come back never the same. different but maybe the same?

For prophecies unfulfilled. For lunches owed. For the beauty of prettycolors. For manicured haircuts and Christmas-dida-eyemakeup. For Mamu. For Russell Peters. For mental cunts. For lit-ups and light up and lighten up. For Atrium and points of no return. For the lies we tell over and over. For things that were and will be. Miss is too little(?) too much. Forgive me, Vellore--the charm of your manicured greens may never be enough.

You know, "Its true."

J.Park 8 05.

And so I did.

Wrong Company.

Sucky playlist.

AND so I did.

And SO I did.

And so I DID.

Its a week later. And I'll tell you where I am supposed to be right now. Out with friends I haven't met for over a year but I've been clamoring to for so bloody long. I was always skeptical about this reunion not living upto the expectations I had set up for it so carefully and impulsively. Today seems to be the lucky day to prove my nagging suspicions right.

So I shall watch Chink-bubblegum now.

Maybe it will get rid of this inexplicable ache in the realms of bodymind.

Maybe it will help to curb the urge to light up.

For the moment, Im just tired of being the happy one.

In 15 minutes I shall be in my last teen.

18 was good. Yet somehow not enough. Not even close.

I need vodka NOW.

I need nice prem. As in ami ekta prem korbo nice prem.

I also have college tomorrow.

Barf. Fuck. Barf. Fuck.Barfuck. Fuckbarf.

K for...

I have an overwhelming obsession of late with Korean films. Korean rom coms actually. They make sense to me in some inexplicable convoluted way. Like the clumsy heroine who's too cutesy sometimes---u know in the korean-cell-phones-karaoke-and-numerous-other-Jap-gadgetsy sort of way. She ALWAYS falls for a very hot chink who she cant get her hands on and the movies don't always end happily. There's an element of reality, a simplicity(not in the storylines, mind you..) and simultaneously an edgy-ness, a Raat-Ki-Rani type freshness that sets them apart from a archetypal Hollywood romance. The leads are imperfect--never gorgeous enough that you can stare at them and ignore their trashy acting(which is the case with most Hollywood films of late) and endings never show disregard for logic and common sense. Watch My Little Bride and 200 Pound Beauty. They're classics.

In other news, Rain like Never Before Rain is pounding on my beloved college. So much so that Term Ends are getting postponed. There are rumours of a cyclone and a tsunami, by the way. If either of them happens, I'm throwing a party...arrangements will be made for it in the afterlife if I get swept away (by chance) in this one.

Tonight: Kate and Leopold. Not in Korean.

Also: Bombay...fuck you maderchods.